Again, why are my things so lethal to me!? (By Jonah)

Dang, how many times am I going to be on the brink of death with normal, Day-to-Day items??

(Note to self: I just proved that grandmas are day-to-day items. Come up with a contort to THAT! :D)

I present to you....(note: scroll down to the bottom to read without interruption from this intro) 

        THE TIME I BARELY SURVIVED MY OWN

                               BUTTERSCOTCH!!!

here I am again, let me prove to you that I do not have a normal life. First off, take my Grandma

Jojo...(hehe you can't talk to me when I blog! :P)

Anyway, what with the dog, the Creepy Deadly Scary Dungeon, backyard, and now a common candy among-ahem,- old people.

So here I was, the up-to-date hero who totally didn't write this 32 days and 5 hours after it happened.

(aw, dang you noticed I didn't say 43 days and 6 hours...)

Then all of the sudden, a dangerous act, a deadly reality, a smacktazamicable (don't ask) catastrophic disastrous event occurred, happened, enchilada, WHATEVER you want to call it. (see, this is why I space things out. you totally didn't notice the enchilada I threw in that jumble of words)...

I swallowed..my Butterscotch!

Fortunately,  I didn't throw up. that would be embarrassing. Instead, I choked to death.

I know, lucky right? Mommy is smiling at this. She may deny it, but she's glad she didn't have to clean up throw up. (once she reads this,  however, she may NOT deny it!)

This is my ghost typing. Oh, yeah, forgot about the, uh, facing through hands (we had to look up 'word that means I can walk through walls' to get that word out of the Internet!) 

Anyway, toodle-oo for now!  

     

Josh was gone, so we lived outside.

Outside is easier with a dog still learning the housebreaking rules. There's more room to run outside and to wear our his puppy enthusiasm. While Josh was doing research all across the country (really just New York, New Hampshire, Maine, and Massachusetts), we spent all kinds of time outside.

At the time this picture was taken, one child was sporting a knee scrape, one child was sulking about being told not to try catching fish in the lake by hand, and one child was upset about being too short to sit on the bench for the picture. I'll let you guess which child was which.

SaveSave

the chickens are growing

These little chicks all started out in one tiny box. I was skeptical about mail order chickens, but all 16 were perky and happy when they arrived.

From day 1, Caroline has loved one chicken the most. She's all white, but as a chick, she was just a fuzzy yellow thing.

When it's warm outside, we take them out for some fresh air. It was too cold for them to live outside at this size, but as soon as they have enough feathers, they'll be out in the new coop we're building them. We're hoping to finish the chicken house this weekend, but it might not be until next weekend that we finally get them out of the house. Either way, I need to run downstairs and clean out their box and water because they are filthy little things...but cute!

Here's Caroline last week with her favorite chicken again. She even has more feathers than that this week, but you can see how much bigger she is already!

Can we do one for me? (by Miriam)

So. When she woke up, she woke up without me. I couldn't say anything without her help. I thought she was in the bathroom, but she was outside with Caroline. I didn't know if she would come back! She just standed up and left whenever she likeded. I wrote her a poem without even scripturing. When I lookeded up, I didn't have my water! I couldn't believe! I had to get up but couldn't. White tape, white tape, white tape, white tape, blue tape, blue tape, blue tape, any kind of tape. (Yes, that's actually what she said, gesticulating wildly all the time.)

I could finish up until we do it. But I don't know how to do Farmer and the Dell! I'm not going to do whatever she said.

The End

The time when Mommy raked the leaves (by Caroline)

Mommy was outside raking the leaves when I looked out my window. I wanted to join her! Jonah came and told me that I could get up and go outside but not stay in the house. So I cleaned up a few things and went out. Mommy said, "Is your room clean? If so, you can come outside!" I said, "no." So I went inside and looked out my window. It looked like so much fun because raking leaves and jumping in piles would be no fun without someone to have fun with. So I cleaned up my room and went outside.

Mommy said I should wear shoes because of ant piles under the leaves. So I went inside again and tried to find a pair of boots, but I could not. So I went outside and said, "I cannot find any boots except for the soft boots but they might not work for ants and leaves, so those ones are no use except in the snow. Thanks, though!" And then I played outside. I jumped in the leaves but Vexorg would not come down the steps! Vexorg chased the rake when Mommy was raking and it was crazy. Then I played in the leaves and had so much fun! But then Vexorg got too rough, so we came inside.

After Caroline is done with school (yes, this is still being narrated by Caroline), we are going to watch a show! Then Mommy is going to make dinner while we watch the show. Then we are going to eat dinner and play about 3 or 2 or 1 round of UNO and play hide and seek and then we'll go to bed. And Mim says that when we watch the show, can Mommy make us some popcorn.

The End.

For Some Reason It Seems Like I can't survive me own anything....(By Jonah)

          THE TIME (STILL GOING!) I BARELY      
         SURVIVED MY OWN DOG!

Yeah, yeah, I know, its the sequel to the sequel. The 3quel, I guess.
Just listen...

It all started with a bad comic.
We got a dog, and my dad wanted to name him Vexorg, Vex for short. Look up what Vex means...
To greatly annoy or to cause distress.
I know, right? At the time I thought that was a horrible name. It sounds more like an imperial Star Wars officer, instead of a friendly dog like..Vexorg. 
Well, those of you who have had a puppy before, probably know how wrong I was.
Whether he was eating me alive, chasing the chickens, or chewing on things that were...not...meant...to..be chewed, he totally lived up to his name.
As I am writing this, he is being cute, then coming over and mauling my foot.
He is an AWESOME puppy, at night I watch Phineas & Ferb while he sits on my lap, getting a tummy rub and licking me. (oh, btw, he is ENCHANTED by the Television :P)

But, he does like to eat me!


Coming up next week: The Time I Barely Survived My Own ButterScotch, A TRUE story, just like all of these ridiculous coincidinces.

we moved!

We bought a house. Yay! We love it. I'm tired all the time, but it's a great kind of tired that comes from painting walls and unpacking boxes and trying to restore some semblance of normalcy to my sweet children's schedules.

I'm falling asleep as I write this (thanks, Daylight Savings Time), but never fear: we are all alive and well, even if Jonah keeps ending up locked in the basement and lost in the forest.

My goal this weekend is to take a picture for our Christmas card. Every year I want to get my cards out right after Thanksgiving and end up sending them a week before Christmas. Maybe this will be the year. Otherwise, my poor post office will spend the whole month forwarding my mail.

Speaking of post offices, our new post office is small and quaint. The women that work there are kind and patient when I call with a million questions about my mail delivery or show up at 7am for the box of chicks we ordered. I'm sure there will be parts of living rurally that we won't love. One of our favorite parts so far, though, has been our neighbors: they've been kind, helpful, and humble.

this is an empty blog (for reals I just found this XD) by jonah

THE TIME I BARELY SURVIVED MY OWN BASEMENT--The sequel (by Jonah Mays)

So, it started out as a normal day.
I was practicing the piano, and Caroline wanted to play with me.
I finished up, and we messed around in the basement, where I pretended to lock her in. She shouted gleefully as she escaped, and chased me around the house. Then, she said "Jonah, I want to show you something" she took me into the basement, locked the door, and while closing it she said "you locked the door, and I still opened it!" too late, I realized my acting was too good and Caroline was locking us... 




    IN THE BASEMENT!--the sequel

             A note: I have not added any humor into this story *cough* *cough*
 so don't say I didn't warn you, Grandmas. Also, this is a true story-is that correct? Well, do hawks use the stars to navigate?......Well, too bad, I didn't know that I, uh, hoped you did. Well, anyway, this is as serious as your neighbors laundries stitches. Enjoy. 
                                                                                                                          -J.R.M.

 As soon as we were locked in the Terrifying Horrible Dungeon, (or the basement) Caroline said, while putting her hand on the door..."See? I can open it even when it's..."
she turned the handle.
It didn't budge.
Caroline gasped.
I ate a banana that happened to be sitting in my pocket.
*tuuuuuuurn*
It still didn't budge.
Caroline whimpered.
The baby chicks clucked.
I ran out of short sentences.

So, then we tried the basement door, (which was conveniently locked.) so, then we moved on to the door again. Caroline, devastated, began spilling-er, playing with- sawdust all over the stairs. Then, I became responsible. Those 4 years of learning how to survive in impossible situations (thanks a lot, Cub Scouts) finally payed off. Well, except for that time a few weeks ago when I..actually, Lazy Bones, if you want to hear about that skip back a blog.
Anyway, I tore out a piece of paper from a notebook (I know, totally amazing thinking, right?), took a pencil that Caroline was stirring her sawdust with, and wrote this inspiring, creative, amazingly grown-up letter



     mommy-
 we are trapped in the basement.
please unlock the door. 

     -Papa Johns Pizza

I REALLY DID WRITE THAT. NO, REALLY.


    THE END---THE SEQUEL TO NOTHING.