Moonbeam's Travels-
A short story by Jonah Mays.
The wizard sat on a chair by the fire, drinking a mug of tea.
How did I burn this? I'm a freaking wizard! He mused to himself. No matter. He had a whole pot of it on the fir-
The fire, which was now covered by a mass of fur.
"WIZARD FLESH BE TASTY!" said a voice from inside his chimney.
Hmm......I may need to postpone another cup of tea.
PART 1
No wizard school can prepare anyone for the trials of a job as a wizard. Actually, all wizard schools are pretty much middle school, the only difference being fireballs replacing spitballs.
(That is the reason you don't see wizards around, not many people choose to join their ranks.)
However, even wizard Moonbeam (the mage mentioned earlier)-a bit of a failure when it comes to...er....anything- was prepared to duel against a yeti.
Oh, yetis are not as you think they are. You may think of a large bear-like creature with horns and blood dripping from the mouth.
That is slightly inaccurate- and by slightly, I mean yetis are actually enraged mice with puffy little tails.
"RAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!" Belched the yeti.
I remember using these for target practice, thought wizard Moonbeam as he shot (and missed) with a fireball.
"OIEFIEHOEHGEOIGHO!"
Erm...retry.
Summon fireball- fffftzlk
Aim fireball- wwwwwwwwwwwwww
AND- THROW! fffffffffffffffffwwwosh!
And- miss. Okay, let's try that again.
And- well, you see how it goes.
That's how it went for a while, the world's most worthless wizard fighting the world's weakest creature.
PART 2
Drinking another cup of tea, Wizard Moonbeam sighed contentedly. He was fond of doing that. Well, the tea was burnt again, but he was used to it by now. Sure, he was covered in bruises from his fight with the yeti, but he had vanquished the evil beast in the end!
(Actually, a more talented mage teleported over and froze them both to cubes of ice, then proceeded to lecture them on the virtues of magic. Then, he blasted them both with a powerful blast of fire.)
He decided to go off in search of more yetis and challenge them to prove his metal!
He decided that his metal was less of an iron metal-strong and reliable- but.....Ah! Mercury! Perfect. Liquid at room temperature, but useful if um....drunken? Inhaled? He would have to experiment, for he knew mercury was useful for something. Anyway, off to find more enemies! (Bad idea, I know.) But he had cold feet! Cut him some slack. (He actually did, he had erm, permanently frozen the molecules in his feet, so he sort of just floated around on a cloud. But so be it. The travels of Wizard Moonbeam had begun.
EPILOGUE
After several days the mage had traveled 7 leagues magically. He had a pair of 7 league boots. How did he only travel 7 leagues in a few days? Well, technically, they didn't um...work. And, technically, they were kinda...sorta....-7 league boots. So, after traveling 49 leagues backwards, he decided to ditch the boots and just walk. Why didn't he just turn around and use the boots? Well, he was kind of an idiot.
Which is why when he stumbled upon the entrance to the underworld, where the most seasoned wizards fled screaming in fear, he decided to jump right in. After all, it was time to prove his mercury!
He stood face to face with a Bufrnag, which is the image you think of when you think of a yeti...
HAHAHAH! I AM WIZARD MOONBEAM, YOU CANNOT HARM ME, YOU ICY SCUM! Oh, wow, you can. Ouch! Ah, AH! No, That's my favorite arm! Oh no, that's my other favorite arm! Get away! Help! HELP!
TO BE CONTINUED...............
