the tooth fairy, v. 2.0

Sometimes, I miss my babies. I remember their mispronounced words and their chubby hands and I miss those days, especially when life is crazy and I feel like I only see them for a split second at the end of the day.

Then, I remember that I'm really actually very well suited to parent older children over cute little babies.

This morning, Jonah had a tooth fall out while he was brushing his teeth before school. He showed me the tooth. "Cool," I said. He shrugged and threw away the tooth. Then on the way to school, in the middle of a conversation about time management, I handed him a dollar to use at the vending machine at school and we continued on our merry way.

By way of contrast, the last time Caroline lost a tooth, the tooth fairy forgot about it for 2 days and it was a mini crisis.

So yes, Facebook memories, I do miss their adorable toddler selves, but I think I'm a pretty good mom for the middle school age, too.

A SHORT STORY BY JONAH

Moonbeam's Travels-
A short story by Jonah Mays.

The wizard sat on a chair by the fire, drinking a mug of tea. 
How did I burn this? I'm a freaking wizard!  He mused to himself. No matter. He had a whole pot of it on the fir-
The fire, which was now covered by a mass of fur. 
"WIZARD FLESH BE TASTY!" said a voice from inside his chimney.
 Hmm......I may need to postpone another cup of tea.
  
PART 1
No wizard school can prepare anyone for the trials of a job as a wizard. Actually, all wizard schools are pretty much middle school, the only difference being fireballs replacing spitballs.
(That is the reason you don't see wizards around, not many people choose to join their ranks.)
However, even wizard Moonbeam (the mage mentioned earlier)-a bit of a failure when it comes to...er....anything- was prepared to duel against a yeti.
Oh, yetis are not as you think they are. You may think of a large bear-like creature with horns and blood dripping from the mouth.  
That is slightly inaccurate- and by slightly, I mean yetis are actually enraged mice with puffy little tails. 
"RAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!"  Belched the yeti.  
I remember using these for target practice, thought wizard Moonbeam as he shot (and missed) with a fireball.
"OIEFIEHOEHGEOIGHO!"
Erm...retry.
Summon fireball- fffftzlk
Aim fireball- wwwwwwwwwwwwww
AND- THROW! fffffffffffffffffwwwosh!
And- miss. Okay, let's try that again. 
And- well, you see how it goes.
That's how it went for a while, the world's most worthless wizard fighting the world's weakest creature.

PART 2
Drinking another cup of tea, Wizard Moonbeam sighed contentedly. He was fond of doing that. Well, the tea was burnt again, but he was used to it by now. Sure, he was covered in bruises from his fight with the yeti, but he had vanquished the evil beast in the end!
(Actually, a more talented mage teleported over and froze them both to cubes of ice, then proceeded to lecture them on the virtues of magic. Then, he blasted them both with a powerful blast of fire.)
He decided to go off in search of more yetis and challenge them to prove his metal!
He decided that his metal was less of an iron metal-strong and reliable- but.....Ah! Mercury! Perfect. Liquid at room temperature, but useful if um....drunken? Inhaled? He would have to experiment, for he knew mercury was useful for something. Anyway, off to find more enemies! (Bad idea, I know.) But he had cold feet! Cut him some slack. (He actually did, he had erm, permanently frozen the molecules in his feet, so he sort of just floated around on a cloud. But so be it. The travels of Wizard Moonbeam had begun.

EPILOGUE
After several days the mage had traveled 7 leagues magically. He had a pair of 7 league boots. How did he only travel 7 leagues in a few days? Well, technically, they didn't um...work. And, technically, they were kinda...sorta....-7 league boots. So, after traveling 49 leagues backwards, he decided to ditch the boots and just walk. Why didn't he just turn around and use the boots? Well, he was kind of an idiot.
Which is why when he stumbled upon the entrance to the underworld, where the most seasoned wizards fled screaming in fear, he decided to jump right in. After all, it was time to prove his mercury!
He stood face to face with a Bufrnag, which is the image you think of when you think of a yeti...
HAHAHAH! I AM WIZARD MOONBEAM, YOU CANNOT HARM ME, YOU ICY SCUM! Oh, wow, you can. Ouch! Ah, AH! No, That's my favorite arm! Oh no, that's my other favorite arm! Get away! Help! HELP! 

TO BE CONTINUED...............  







 
  

Miriam, the artist

Moonbeam's Travels-
A short story by Jonah Mays.

The wizard sat on a chair by the fire, drinking a mug of tea. 
How did I burn this? I'm a freaking wizard!  He mused to himself. No matter. He had a whole pot of it on the fir-
The fire, which was now covered by a mass of fur. 
"WIZARD FLESH BE TASTY!" said a voice from inside his chimney.
 Hmm......I may need to postpone another cup of tea.
  
PART 1
No wizard school can prepare anyone for the trials of a job as a wizard. Actually, all wizard schools are pretty much middle school, the only difference being fireballs replacing spitballs.
(That is the reason you don't see wizards around, not many people choose to join their ranks.)
However, even wizard Moonbeam (the mage mentioned earlier)-a bit of a failure when it comes to...er....anything- was prepared to duel against a yeti.
Oh, yetis are not as you think they are. You may think of a large bear-like creature with horns and blood dripping from the mouth.  
That is slightly inaccurate- and by slightly, I mean yetis are actually enraged mice with puffy little tails. 
"RAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!!"  Belched the yeti.  
I remember using these for target practice, thought wizard Moonbeam as he shot (and missed) with a fireball.
"OIEFIEHOEHGEOIGHO!"
Erm...retry.
Summon fireball- fffftzlk
Aim fireball- wwwwwwwwwwwwww
AND- THROW! fffffffffffffffffwwwosh!
And- miss. Okay, let's try that again. 
And- well, you see how it goes.
That's how it went for a while, the world's most worthless wizard fighting the world's weakest creature.

PART 2
Drinking another cup of tea, Wizard Moonbeam sighed contentedly. He was fond of doing that. Well, the tea was burnt again, but he was used to it by now. Sure, he was covered in bruises from his fight with the yeti, but he had vanquished the evil beast in the end!
(Actually, a more talented mage teleported over and froze them both to cubes of ice, then proceeded to lecture them on the virtues of magic. Then, he blasted them both with a powerful blast of fire.)
He decided to go off in search of more yetis and challenge them to prove his metal!
He decided that his metal was less of an iron metal-strong and reliable- but.....Ah! Mercury! Perfect. Liquid at room temperature, but useful if um....drunken? Inhaled? He would have to experiment, for he knew mercury was useful for something. Anyway, off to find more enemies! (Bad idea, I know.) But he had cold feet! Cut him some slack. (He actually did, he had erm, permanently frozen the molecules in his feet, so he sort of just floated around on a cloud. But so be it. The travels of Wizard Moonbeam had begun.

EPILOGUE
After several days the mage had traveled 7 leagues magically. He had a pair of 7 league boots. How did he only travel 7 leagues in a few days? Well, technically, they didn't um...work. And, technically, they were kinda...sorta....-7 league boots. So, after traveling 49 leagues backwards, he decided to ditch the boots and just walk. Why didn't he just turn around and use the boots? Well, he was kind of an idiot.
Which is why when he stumbled upon the entrance to the underworld, where the most seasoned wizards fled screaming in fear, he decided to jump right in. After all, it was time to prove his mercury!
He stood face to face with a Bufrnag, which is the image you think of when you think of a yeti...
HAHAHAH! I AM WIZARD MOONBEAM, YOU CANNOT HARM ME, YOU ICY SCUM! Oh, wow, you can. Ouch! Ah, AH! No, That's my favorite arm! Oh no, that's my other favorite arm! Get away! Help! HELP! 

TO BE CONTINUED...............  







 
  

Harry Potter's future, according to Mim

M: Hey, mom?
me: Yes?
M: Jonah said that in Harry Potter 7, Harry Potter gets married.
me: Yes, that's true.
M: He didn't tell us who he marries, but he did give us a clue. He said Harry Potter marries someone from Gryffindor.
me: Yep.
M: So I was wondering, what if Moaning Myrtle was in Gryffindor?!
me: That would be interesting.
M: But I don't think Harry Potter is going to die and he would have to die to marry Moaning Myrtle, right?
me: I guess so...
M: I mean, all the books are called Harry Potter, so it's not like he can die. He's the best wizard in the whole school!
me: Even better than Dumbledore?
M: Well, Dumbledore didn't find the entrance to Chamber of Secrets or figure out it was a basilisk. And he can't speak Parseltongue.
me: All valid points.
M: So yes, Harry Potter is the very best wizard....and Mom?
me: Yes?
M: Harry Potter is fiction, right?
me: Yes.
M: But is it realistic fiction? Because Harry Potter starts out like a normal kid before he finds out he has magic!
me: We can always hope.

(Which made me think of the time Jonah tried to convince me that magic is real but we're just Muggles so we don't know it, which isn't a bad bit of logic, really.)

reflections on dog ownership, 1 year later

KEEPING BEARDED DRAGONS!! ~~~~BY JONAH~~~

So, first of all, I am not 10 anymore.
I am 11. 
Gee, how does it feel, Jonah?
Wow, not that much different from being 10.
Also, I am thinking about getting a bearded dragon over the summer.
Some of you reading this already know that, but I just wanted to tell you. 




 HERE ARE SOME CONDITIONS TO KEEPING YOUR BEARDED DRAGON! -BY JONAH

What do you need to have?
First thing: you need a terrarium.
A terrarium is a clear tank that you can grow plants in, keep animals, etc. You need like, dirt, a light, and maybe a rock or something to make a simple terrarium.
For an adult bearded dragon, you need like a 50-75 gallon tank.

In the tank, you need sand or something (or a felt bottom) and something to climb on. Or multiple things. Like a rock, sticks, etc.
You need a light to sun, and a UBV spectrum that runs the length of the tank. Bearded dragons need UBV light in order to synthesize Vitamin D so that they can break down calcium. Something like that. You also need a shady place that is cooler, so that they can maintain their body temperature.  



One fun thing you can do with your lizard is give it a bath. It needs to soak in 85-95 degree water to maintain cleanliness, and also to help shed their skin. Put them in a little dish, and leave them there for about 15-20 minutes.

As for feeding, there are a variety of things for them to eat. Dubia roaches are a great option, and they LOVE crickets. As they get older they can eat more vegetables, fruits, and leafy greens. Strawberries, kiwi, peaches, mango lastin (whatever that is), and even pinky mice are great for eating.

Water can't be that hard, can it? It's not as simple as it sounds.
Don't you just give them a dish and walk away? Sort of.
They like to lick water off of walls and accessories, so use a light misting bottle to put little water droplets. You also may want a dish just in case, clean it out every day or two.

Cleaning up waste....Everyone's least favorite part. Fortunately, it isn't as hard as it seems. Scoop waste out every week, and change the bedding every month. It's worth it to have such a friendly, loving pet.


SEE YA!

-JONAH 

how I'm spending my money

look at my pichrer

kkkkkkkk
this is achily Caroline's pichcher and vexorg's picher
ilistrated  and  written by carloine
saying all the words by MIRIAM.

 

Dear Dad,

I had a dream about you last night. It's Mother's Day today, so it really should have been a dream about Mom or about my own children (or even about doing the dishes, like my dreams usually are), but it wasn't. It was definitely you and it was so vivid. This from the person that rarely even remembers dreams, let alone dreams intensely at all. Most of the time when I have vivid dreams, they are stressful ones. But no, this was a good dream. We were talking about something. I wish I could remember what.

I miss you so much. I can't remember what you said to me in my dream, but it made so much sense at the time. I really need your wisdom sometimes. If I'm lucky, when I'm talking to one of the siblings or to Mom, one of us will say something like, "You know what Dad would say...?" But it's just not the same. No one has your combination of humor, wisdom, and timing.

Usually, I can have a little sit down with myself and figure out what you'd probably say. You had a way of letting me talk and talk and then just listening while I came around to a solution. You also had a way of getting me to be less overly confident and more willing to consider another point of view. I like myself better when I'm acting that way. Today, though, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I'd much rather just have you here than have to conjure you up out of memory. R

I don't know what kind of options you have or how dreams get worked out anyway*, but if you get a choice, could you come back tonight? I'll try really hard to pay attention and remember what you say this time.

Always with love,
k

*Actually, I do have a theory about this. I've always been okay with the concept that some people can get messages or inspiration or visions in their dreams. Probably the types of people that have dreams they remember in the first place or come from cultures and customs where prophetic dreams are expected. Since I'm not one of those people (on many counts, especially the fact that my dreams are almost always just a list of things I need to do tomorrow), I figure God has to talk to me in a different way since he knows dreams aren't really my preferred language.

birthday week: Jonah turns 11

In less than two weeks, Jonah will turn 11! I would barely be able to believe it if it weren't for the fact that he has been incredibly responsible and generally old recently.

As is the tradition around our house, the birthday child (or adult) gets to pick the dinners for the week. His list this year is looking particularly adolescent:

pork chops
steak
chicken pot pie
BLTs
tacos
pot roast
beef stew

In his own words, "I just want a lot of red meat. And some ice cream."

ticket update

how i"m getting my airplane

first i have $24.90

i used to have $12.99

befor i had even thought about the airplane i had $10.99

befor i got that much i had $4.99

i'm caroline 

me

jonah

family update (by Caroline)

all about the family
mim: mim is hoping to make two stands to sell drinks and snacks.
caroline : i am hoping for an airplane ticket.
jonah: is not wishing anything!
dada and mama are the same.

               done done done done done done done!

recently

Miriam talks all the time. She is either telling a story, narrating her imaginary play, or singing songs. In this picture, she's in the middle of a very elaborate story...depsite the fact that I could only hear her when the swing came back my way.

Jonah is getting very adept at putting things together for us. Isn't he handsome?

Caroline was so excited by her new journal she bought at the book fair...for exactly 24 hours. Now it's fallen out of favor and been banished to her junk drawer. But look at that happy face! She was very pleased.

Speaking of pleased, she's taken to mothering the baby chickens we brought home last week. Of the whole family, she is the one most often found leaning over their brooder and speaking to them. Jonah still wishes we had only 6 chickens so they would be more like pets and less like livestock, but even he couldn't resist the appeal of the soft, fuzzy babies.

And soccer season is back in full swing. Here Caroline is chatting with a classmate (yes, I'm wiggling my eyebrows as I say that) after practice:

And Miriam showing off her teal uniform and fancy new cleats. I feel like we live at the park sometimes, especially since our piano teacher lives right down the street, but it's also helping pass the time while we wait for more consistently good weather.

the joys of older children, Jonah edition

As a general rule, I don't pine for days gone by. I do suffer bouts of nostalgia the other night, but it's not a common occurrence (yet?). I don't often sit and miss having little babies in the house. I like parenting older children and I'm actually looking forward to having teenagers.

One of my favorite parts of older children is getting to really talk about things. I can share book recommendations, debate the merits of various foods (or movies or sports) and get their opinions as well. Jonah left me a note on the table the other day about a scripture he read and liked and thought I would like to ("because we both like to talk): "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold and pictures in silver." (Proverbs 25:11) Babies may curl up in your arms and smell like nothing else on earth, but they can't do that.

That said, there are some parts of parenting older children that are more difficult than the early years. I can't fix everything (or anything!) by driving us to a construction site to watch the excavators or pulling popsicles out of the freezer.

A few days ago, Jonah and I had a rough afternoon. There was more yelling than I'd like to remember and I just felt crummy. I was expecting parenting to get more difficult and the concerns to get weightier as my kids aged, but I have been surprised at how hurt my feelings get when my kids fight with me.

After the aforementioned difficulty with said eldest child, Caroline, Miriam, and I headed to soccer practice. That wasn't the only reason I was frustrated, mind you. It had been a long day, a few things went wrong, and Josh wouldn't be home until after nine. I came home prepared to usher my girls into bed and clean up dinner only to find the table cleaned off, the food put away, and a note from Jonah. Good job, kid.

what I want to be when I grow up, part 2

I have recently done some life planning and soul searching in an attempt to find a career. Or maybe I don't want a career, but a lower-key job and my life's passion will be my homestead or writing or some other side gig? If you can't tell already, I'm still in the searching phase of this journey.*

The other night, however, Josh was reading through some old blog posts from the very early days of this blog—days when I had a desk job and not enough work to do for months out of the year but a mandate to stay at my post in case a customer came in. Those blog posts were much more creative (and long!) than what you get these days. Blame smart phones, 3 children, and 5 acres for that if you miss the old style. Anyway, he was reading titles out loud before clicking on any post that interested him. When he read, "What I Want to Be When I Grow Up" I told him I needed to know what it said. I've never been much of a journaler, so this was my best chance to find out what 2007 me wanted in life. I thought that maybe it would give me the clarity I needed and help me figure out the next 10 years.**

Lo and behold, here is what I wanted (based on a conversation I had with a friend while shopping for Christmas gifts): "After I rambled off a few non-related criteria, she produced two books so perfect that I had to buy both. Not only did she know what I meant, but she had actually read said books herself and could give a summary and review of each...I want to be the kind of person who always has a good book in mind for a friend in need."

Ha! There's always more reading to do, but I can say that I have met that goal. It's been 12 years since I wrote that and just today I responded to a friend with multiple recommendations based on what she was looking for. I don't know if any of my suggestions will be as spot on as Anna-Lisa's were when I asked her for ideas all those years ago, but I am feeling really happy with myself that my past decade improved me in a way I can feel proud of.

Good job, me.



*Thanks to the help and advice of some very smart people, however, I feel like I've narrowed it down to just a few options. More on that another time.

**For what it's worth, if I was more like Anna-Lisa in another 10 years, I would count that decade as a success, too.

PACKING LUNCHES************Jonah Mays

The Art of Packing Lunches   By Jonah Mays😁




A perfectly packed lunch includes protein, vegetables, fruit, and something tasty.
One of the most satisfying things I know is having a healthy, well-organized and YUMMY lunch fit perfectly into place, not a space unused.
Here are a few tips on how to make your lunch away from home better.     -Jonah 



   *PROTEIN

I think protein is the hardest one..unless you have some chicken lying around. (I'm part carnivore)
Some good options, however, are Hummus-A mushed up chickpea dip that is GREAT on pita chips/veggies- Rotisserie Chicken-which is good cold if you're too lazy to get a thermos- Eggs, hard-boiled, egg salad, deviled..they're egg-sactly what you need in a time of turmoil- Or good old Peanut butter (although I don't like that especially.)


         *VEGETABLES

I don't love most vegetables, but a good way to choke down a serving of carrots is by smothering them in hummus or ranch.
Broccoli, Carrots, Cauliflower, you name it. (I tried putting carrots directly into my eyes once...and despite what people said, it didn't help my vision.)

         *FRUIT

Fruit can either be the best one or the worst one.
I love, like, all fruit, so usually as long as we have grapes, apples, oranges, peach slices, or pineapple, this one is easy.
Also berries are a spectacular addition to your lunch.
(very healthy, too!) 

           *STARCH

Although starch isn't technically one of the main food groups, who can survive a lunch without a good old piece of bread or some chips? Put the crUNCH  in your lunch!


             *SWEETS

The best for last, as anyone who likes sweets and isn't..um..crazy might say! I love those occasions where my mom says, "Pack a cookie if you want one." Uh, yes please.



 

          

How I'm Going to Arizona (by Caroline)

     
HOW I"M GOING TO ARIZONA

first i'm caroline.
next i'm doing extra chores.they are when you've done all of your chores. and you do another chore.
then i'm geting all of the money i earned.

and i'm saving up to 100 dollars and mommy and daddy are going to help me. and so are you. right?
i bet so. right now i have 16,17 or 18 dollars.
and i'm going all by my self.

i like how the rabbites hop.and the bunnys hide behind the cactieses.
i like the pretty flowers on the cactieses.miriam said that. but i do to.
one time i saw a wolf. it was cool to see!

this is my favroite song it is called i will be what i beleve:
living in this world with change all around but with the prophets words i'll stand on solid ground even thogh it's still hard 
with questjens that arise evry day i will say i have  faith as brother josof and stranth as the 
pieiners and faith as the stripling waryars and like neefie persuver and stuff like that .

you migh want to hear the rest. but i will sing it to you when it's st patriks day.
i can't wait to see you!
i will swim im grandpas pool. and play in jojo and fafa franks house.
and see bowbow and jajas.
is that her name? i doun't know her name. well hu ever jazys name is.sone i will know.
this is a picher right look down for more

good bye

oh, my girls

Caroline: I'm seven. Jonah is eleven. 7 and 11 rhyme!
Me: They also rhyme with "heaven."
Caroline: So we should die and go to heaven at 7 and 11.
Me: Oh no, I'm not ready for that yet. You should live until 107 and 111.
Caroline: Well, I don't want to get wrinkly. So maybe I'll only live until 97 and Jonah can be 90...11?

-----

Miriam, after telling me all about her plan to marry a family friend: I asked him if he wanted to marry me and be very rich. He nodded his head like this. That means yes. Oh, and will you text his mom and tell her that the youngest age we can get married is 18?

-----

Caroline: I don't have any boyfriends anymore. I just can't take care of four boyfriends. That's way too many.

(later that week)

But I might make Ike my boyfriend. He is very nice to me, but he's also kind of gross. He picks his eyebrows and eats dirt, which makes me kind of disgustingly out of a boyfriend.

grown up Mim

Miriam has been very interested in talking about her life when she's grown up ("like ten or fifteen or something"). So far today,we've had the following conversations:

M: Jonathan is my favorite name for a boy. So if I have a boy child, I'm going to name him Jonathan. If I have a girl, I am going to name her Violet. If I have one. And if I have ANOTHER girl, I will name her Snowflake.

Me: What if you have another son?

M: I'd name them Jonathan and John.

Violet, Snowflake, and...hm. And Rainbow! And then with the three boys, I would name them Jonathan, John, and...hm. I could always name one of my kids Flower.


M:  I'm ready to have a job when I grow up. I'm thinking about the job to scan people's groceries. I'm thinking I'll have a job in a grocery store.

Me: Ah, that would be a nice job.

M: Well Mom, there's so many stores, I don't know which store to pick!


M (while running errands in town): When I grow up, I'm going to buy the house next door and be your neighbor! And if they aren't moving out of the house next door and selling it, maybe I'll buy one of these houses instead.*

M (again, later): Mom! There are only two houses next door to this one. That means either Jonah or Caroline or I can't live here and be your neighbor! ... Oh, maybe we could just build another house right in the middle for someone else. I'd live in the big one in the middle, of course.



*As someone who had detailed plans about buying my parents' house and turning the back porch into a giant aviary, this makes me laugh every time.

the kids and the kids

Last week, we all had Monday off of school and work, so we made the most of it and went to visit our good friend Amy and her farm. Amy's goats had kidded a few weeks before, so there were baby goats aplenty..even some bottle babies!

This is the exact sort of adorableness that led to the frantic fence building of last spring so we could bring Lena and her babies home last April. And now, this April, we should have a kid or two of our own on the ground if all goes well!

I also went and helped Amy (watched, really) when one of her goats delivered quadruplets! It was fascinating, inspiring, and extremely educational. New life really is miraculous.

Limerick Trifecta

                          THE STORY OF IDIS- FROM BOY TO SUFFIX


                         THERE ONCE WAS A FINE LAD NAMED IDIS,
                 WHO EMPTIED OUT MANY A PIEDISH,
                 SWELLED AND DID FLY,
                 RIGHT INTO THE SKY,
                 THEN SAID, "AT HOME DO NOT TRY THIS!"


                  SO NOW, THE SUFFIX OF IDIS,
                 MEANS SWELLING-LIKE THAT OF OL' IDIS,
                 S'IF YOUR BRONCHIAL TREE,
                 IS SWELLING-DEAR ME!
                 YOU MUST HAVE THE DREADED BRONCHITIS!
 

                  SO NOW IF YOU EAT UP A PIEDISH,
                   FEEL SICK AND SAY, "GOT PIEIDIS!"
                  WELL IF YOU SAY 'PIE-IDIS'
                  DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.....?


                  THE SWELLING OF PIE = MORE PIE FOR ME!!


I hope you liked my limerick trifecta, I came up with it this morning.
If you don't like it, then you don't like my sense of humor...so why are you reading this? :)
If you like it but don't understand it...it's basically saying that Idis means 'swelling of', so you can't eat a burrito and say "I got burrititis! ow!"
If you like it AND understand it, then yippe-yie-yay!

                               -Jonah  

thoughts by Caroline

In school, we've been learning about Rosa Parks and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. My favorite part is the part where Dr. Martin Luther King was assassinated because of how the other guy was sneaky and because I think death is interesting. It's also interesting that he got the Nobel Peace Prize.

I was late to school because I woke up at 7:30. And when I got there, I had water my eyes because I did not being alone going in the school and there were no more kids.

At lunch, I sat with my two best friends (austin and jamie) and so we had a nice chat and we had our lunch. Also, someone spilled their chocolate milk! And then, after that, we listened and had a nice fun thing with ice cream. I picked sour ice cream and sour looks like there's one side with green on it and one side with pink on it. The green side is the side that is sour and the pink side is the side that is sweet. I like the sour part better than the sweet.

Back to talking about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. He was a great, great teacher and also taught in his church and gave prayers like his father. And I think that is great because he is a lot like Heavenly Father and I'm really nervous because at the first thing, I didn't know him, I didn't know anything about it...but anyway, it was cool. And now I'm talking all about him and he's such a good, good man. So I think it's cool and the speech I like the most about him is the only speech we talked about. It's called, "I Have a Dream." And it was awesome because he marched and when people fought him, he didn't fight back with fists. He fought back with kind words. And that's why I like him so much! Because back then, the color of their skin was like different colors like white was tan and black was like really dark skin and so white people (which I am a white person) were only allowed to go to really cool things and the black people were treated bad. And the white people could sit in the front of the bus, go to any restaurant they wanted, and go to an only white school. And black people had to be separated. They couldn't play, they could only use some drinking fountains, and they had to go to their own school which was unfair.

-caroline your friend

wisdom from the mouth of babes

Miriam (when I picked a piece of ice off the floor as she was refilling her water bottle): You can just throw that in the sink, Mommy. Vex had it in his mouth.
Me: Well yeah, you wouldn't want it in your water bottle anyway. It's been on the floor.
Miriam: Well sometimes, when popcorn falls on the floor in class, I put it in my mouth instead of the trash. As long as it's clean, you can just eat it!
Josh: So how do you know if it's clean?
Miriam: If you see a hair on it, you don't eat it. Otherwise, it's clean and you do!


Yesterday (MLK day), we took the kids to Chick-fil-A. Our first attempt was foiled by a closed and potentially under construction Chick-fil-A. That's when Caroline shared this gem:
"When I grow up, I want to be like Martin Luther King, Jr. I'm going to try and change a rule like he did. The rule I'm going to change is that Chick-fil-A will always be open."

The time I barely survived Vacation-Survivor series part 6

Okay, hold up.
I know what you're going to ask.
Why is vacation dangerous?
Why did you put part 6?
Why are you insane?
Why do you like 2nd person so much?

I put part 6 because poor idiot Jonah knows what 2nd person is but can't count.
I like 2nd person because it lets me insult you inside of a blog.
I'm going to tell you why vacation is in this story because that is the freaking title of the blog!!
As for being insane, uh, there is no explaining that.



WHY CAN'T I HAVE A SAFE VACATION?
Every vacation we take, something bad happens to me.
Why is the universe out to get me?!!

CHAPTER 1- THE BEACH
One time I went to myrtle beach with my family, and on the very first day, I kid you not, I got sunburnt. I was then miserable the rest of the time.

CHAPTER 2- THE BEACH
On another trip to the beach, I was playing in the water and got stung by a Jellyfish.
Seriously.
That was 3? 4? years ago?
They still make fun of me like it was yesterday.

CHAPTER 3- ARIZONA
One time I went to arizona. The end.
One time I went to Arizona and got a canker sore and coulden't eat without immense pain.

I don't understand this insanity.
Please help.

I CAN'T SEEM TO SURVIVE ANYTHING!

 In the words of Flynn Rider, "This is the story..of how my life ended."


THE TIME I BARELY SURVIVED--------------------------
---------------------------MY OWN TOASTER!

Again, the world seems to be out to get me!
Who gets attacked by nuclear-level mutant toasters?!
Oh no. Uh...I forgot my cover story...Ahem...
Forget what I said about mutant toasters. Those ten-year-olds sure overthink things, don't they?
Anyway, it was a normal day (except for burning myself) and I was in the kitchen,
making myself some shrimp cocktail. Oh, uh, I mean, toast. Now look what you did, you went and made me hungry you villain!
Anyway, making myself some toast when the toaster tipped over and burnt my
thumb off.
Well, my thumb is still here, but let's be metaphorical here.
I know that's a big word-5 syllables! 
Basically, you don't know how much it hurt, so you CAN'T SAY MY THUMB DIDN'T BURN OFF!!!
 It was a 2nd degree burn, if you think I'm working myself up. Had a blister to prove it.
It was the day after I went to CubScout Daycamp, which was like summer camp, but only from 9:00 to like 12:00 and for 3 days, and we learned about burns.
Ironic, isn't it?
First degree is just a minor burn, maybe some red skin.
Second degree is a blister. Ouch.
Third degree is black ski-
BE FLAYED ALIVE!!! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!
-n, which is very serious and you want to get to get to the E.R.
Anyway, I'll need to pull a Darth Sideus and get a bunch of sharp-looking
personal guards.